1. On the Bus - If you ask me, one of the worst places for someone to randomly pass out is on the bus during his or her morning commute, an ill-fated situation that carries a multitude of consequences. Imagine completely overshooting your destination, waking up a solid hour after the start of your shift miles from the workplace then paying for the extra trip. The cherry on top of these miserable circumstances – learning that the total creep sitting across from you had been watching you sleep the entire time, with a sinister smile on his face.
2. While Skiing - Although the thrill of racing down a mountain at high speed is enough to keep the average person awake, the person who randomly passes out needs to worry about running into some problems – a tree, for example. I suppose the only thing more dangerous than passing out on the way down a mountain is passing out on the way back up, and then falling off the chairlift.
3. While Eating Soup – For most people, a hot bowl of soup offers a great way to warm up on a cold winter day. For the person who randomly passes out, a delicious Campbell’s dinner offers an altogether different element – the potential risk of drowning in it.
4. On the Babysitting Job – The concept of babysitting brings teenage girls everywhere the opportunity to earn some extra pocket money. Prone to randomly passing out, however, can cheat any responsible teenaged babysitter out of compensation for a hard day’s work. Before accepting a babysitting job, understand that payment is often negligible when parents come home to find you asleep, and their six-year-old watching R-rated movies.
5. On a Movie Date – After a couple of tickets, a tub of popcorn, two large Dr. Peppers and a box of Milk Duds, a date at the movies can cost you an arm and a leg. Considering the expenses and consequences, passing out during a movie date is a definite problem. You run the risk of not only missing the movie and spilling soda all over yourself, but also significantly reducing your chances of landing a second date.
6. While Getting a Tattoo – It’s hard to imagine anyone falling asleep while being inked, especially when you consider the intense pain of a needing digging into your skin. I suppose the best advice in this situation is to make sure that you trust the person creating the tattoo, and that he or she has a complete understanding of what you want permanently drawn on your body. Otherwise, you might wake up with a great deal of regret - not just once, but every day (for the rest of your life).
7. During the SATs – The SAT, or Scholastic Aptitude Test, is the timed standardized test that weighs heavily on a student’s ability to gain admission to the college of their preference. Most colleges, however, prefer students who actually finish their test – a potential detriment for people who randomly pass out.
8. While Sky Diving – We have all had that familiar dream where we are falling from the sky, only to wake up startled yet safe and sound in our beds. A person skydiving who is prone to randomly passing out, on the other hand, wakes up in a similar fashion, only to face this as a stone cold reality. I just hope they realize that he or she is not dreaming in time to pull the chute.
9. On the Phone with a 1-900 Number – At $2.99 for the first minute and 99 cents for each additional minute (and sometimes more), 1-900 numbers can become treacherous waters for people prone to randomly passing out to cross. After all, how many people can say that a power nap cost them $50 or more?
10. Behind the Wheel – I can hardly bear the thought of a new car owner who wakes up in the parking lot of the dealership having crashed his or her new car (wait, it gets worse) into another new car on the lot.
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